i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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