I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
