is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
