I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
