maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
