saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
