then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
