I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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