No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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