I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
