i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
