How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
