And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
