who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
