operation harelip BJ is a go
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
