I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
