Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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