I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
