is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
