She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
