Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
