Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
