I can text with my tongue
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
