Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
