ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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