i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do vagina's smell?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
