I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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