Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i out mim tonsoeep
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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