Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
