Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
