I looked at my own cervix.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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