i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
