Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
