I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
