You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
