I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
