You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
