Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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