Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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