Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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