dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We smell like vodka and hangover
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
