Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
