we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Dear god my vagina.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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