my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
