I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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