he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
