At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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