Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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