What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
