im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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