Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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