Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
