When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
