Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
