maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
