other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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