youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
This house was built for laser tag.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
