how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize