I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
