Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
